Show Not Tell

This Morning, Room 20 yet again, did another Show Not Tell. As students, we had to describe what we could see in this picture about the setting and the characters. BUT.. We had to show not tell. That only means we couldn't give the idea away, we had to give hints. Now, you tell Me... Do you get the idea from my Paragraph? 

“SEARCH FOR HIM THAT WAY!” I heard a soldier command. With sweat sliding down the side of my face, I continuously ran puffing and panting. The ground was shrouded in wet, sticky mud. As I stealthily peeked through the damp tree branches, water droplets began to fall and slide down my hair. The clouds darkened.

Writing Practice

“Ally” I heard Mum yelling to me down the hall. “You up yet?” I predicted the weather was going to be fine. It always was. I opened the curtains to the sun gazing through my windows. I threw on a pair of shorts, my green singlet and and completed my look with a pair of jandals. BEEP! BEEP! I glanced at the clock and saw it was going on eleven o'clock. I sighed, "The beach couldn't be that busy!"

The drive usually seemed to take forever but this time I was too busy thinking about what I could do. “Finally, what we came here for" I heard my brother Sione say. Looking through the glassy window, clear blue water had caught my eyes. The light coloured sand had blown me away. It felt as if I was in heaven. "Relax? Play? Eat? Sleep?" I said aloud. "First thing you can do is set up Darling" My mother grinned. I turned off for a moment there.

As I was laying down the mat, I heard a cry. "AAARGH! Why me?" I looked up and noticed a crowd of people gathering near the groyne. I made my way slowly and cautiously to have a peek. My eyes widened with a sigh. The sight I saw disgusted me. A teary eyed man named Andy, laid there with 4 toes instead of 5. People around him asked what caused this injury. He replied breathing loudly "I was searching for some shells and out of nowhere, a crab bit my toe off". At first, I found it hard to believe.

I pulled out my phone and dialled 911. A man answered and I explained to him the reason I called on such a beautiful day. He said "I'll be there right away!" I stuck with the man while families started to leave, one by one. Andy  was struggling to hack the pain, but I stayed with him though. With all the strength he had left, the injured man squeezed me and said "Thank You Ally". He was taken to a safe place.

Ok, I admit today was pretty stressing. But.... A man thanked me?? For all the effort and care I put into making sure he was safe and well looked after. I was proud myself as well! I didn't care that I never got to have fun, it mattered to me a lot that I got to save a life.